Brought To You By My Good Friend Lisa...

The Last To Go

A Couple Recos...

TV:

VH1 Lords of the Revolution - A five part series focusing on certain people or groups who shook up the American culture in the 60's and 70's. The five featured are Muhammed Ali, Cheech & Chong, Andy Warhol, the Black Panthers, and Timothy Leary.

DVD:

Sunshine Cleaners - Two sisters take on a new business where they clean up after murders and tragic deaths. It's funnier than it sounds and pretty much anything Alan Arkin touches is gold.

Tyson - An in depth interview that goes deep into the psychology of the man who changed the face of boxing. You won't have to like him, but I know you'll have a much better understanding of the self proclaimed monster.

Music:

Wilco (The Album) - I'm still riding high on Wilco's latest release. It hasn't ventured too far from where Sky Blue Sky left off with simple, yet beautiful, songs. Wilco had begun to get very deep and complicated for a bit, but are back to the music that's perfect for the sunniest of days, or the rainy day that has you sitting by the window.

Just In Case You Wanna

So, I wrote this book some time ago. I've edited and edited it over the years. I've put out a minimal effort to find literary representation and publishing. I just don't get the game. So... I self published through lulu.com. If anybody is interested in buying a copy (I know, abusing the Blog for shameless self promotion) you can go check it out at...

Hardcover $22.43

or

Paperback $12.00

Thanks...

A Simple Rule Of Life

I remember going to Herfy's once with my Mom. She ordered some random burger. When the food was brought to us, Mom must have had it. The burger was a pathetically squished bun with a sliver of meat stuck in between. She held the burger up to the guy who took our order and asked, "does this look anything like the picture up there," referring to the lit up menu with food that looked too good to be true. The poor kid didn't know what to do. If I remember correctly a manager came out, sent the burger back, and they had another one hand constructed. I'm sure it was loaded with frycook spit. But, that moment always stuck with me. How do these places get away with such poor false advertising?

A Day At The Movies

After meandering through the Beaverton Farmer's Market with my parents, we went to go see the movie 500 Days of Summer (A-). Before walking into the theater Dad announced he had to go to the bathroom. I thought I had best go as well. We walked in together. I went through my ritual of picking out the right urinal, figuring Dad would skip a urinal and grab one a space away. Little did I know he actually went in and sat down in a stall. I did a rush job as I knew what was to come.

I washed my hands and ran back out to the hallway and met my Mom. Seconds later, the sound crackling wood in an echo chamber came roaring from the bathroom into the hallway. "Did you hear that," I asked Mom. She thought it was just theater noise. "No, that was dad... pooping!" Mom went into a fit of laughter.

Dad walked out minutes later completely unaware of the presence he had made. Once we informed him, it was as if two parents had just praised their little boy for making poopy.

We grabbed our seats in the theater, the lights go down, and the movie begins. Ten minutes in and I hear a double "chortle" that sends me jumping in my seat. Mom had fallen asleep and started snoring. It was so loud she woke herself up. Realizing what she had done, the fit of laughter had returned.

The movie ended and we walked out to the car. Dad leaned up against his car to chat for a minute and rips out a flurper, which was enhanced by the metal from the car. This was done just as a man in the car next to them was just getting out of his car. Dad just smiles with shame a world away.

Watching your parents get old isn't easy. Not because of the pain their in... the deterioration of the minds... watching them unable to do things they used to do... it's because of the noises that they now make on a regular basis... in public places.

He's Watching Me

So, the other day I was in the shower and I noticed that as the water was streaking around on the shower curtain I noticed an image of what looked like Jesus with his hands open as if saying, "You gonna wash that?"

I quickly freaked out, scooped up a handful of water, and washed away the image. But, as the water ran down the curtain, the image slowly came back as if Jesus was saying, "seriously?"

I rubbed my eyes a few times in case I was having some sort of eye goo moment, then pinched myself to make sure this wasn't some sort of dream thing, and then finally looked for cameras in case that guy from That 70's Show was trying to punk me. Nothing. I scooped up more water and washed it away.

Within seconds, Jesus returned to my shower curtain. I stood and stared at it for a moment. Was this it? Was this my moment where I met Jesus, turned my life over, and followed the path of so many others? I grabbed the bar of soap, cradled my hand on the other side of the shower curtain, and scrubbed Jesus away. It takes far more than that to take a shower with me. I don't care who you are. Get out of my shower Jesus!